Streetdance 2 3D Film 2012 Review
Streetdance 2 3D Moo-Vees Review :
So I was a child dancer. I took classes from the age of three and was competing in eisteddfods by age 10. I spent all my spare time either taking classes or practicing and I dreamed of being a back dancer for Paula Abdul, Janet Jackson and Bananarama. Of course as soon as I hit puberty I discovered boys and booze, and my dreams of dirty dancing were quickly forgotten. But my love of dance has never died, expressed these days through taking the occasional hip hop or dancehall class (I’m so urban) and through obsessively watching dance movies.
Max Giwa, Dania Pasquini
Jane English (characters)
Sofia Boutella, George Sampson and Tom Conti
I love dance movies. I love all dance movies. I love how cheesy they are, I love how overly moralistic they are, I love how incredibly unrealistic and usually borderline racist they are. Okay I don’t love the borderline racism but everything else is awesome. And above all else I love the dancing. Oh, the dancing. I can pretty much endure any horrible plotline (or lack thereof), any appalling acting, any English-for-Dummies script provided there is awesome dancing and fuckloads of it. But sadly not even the dancing could save Streetdance 2 3D, and I say this as a person who has watched all three Step Up films at least five times.
Dance movies are traditionally the domain of American filmmakers, or at least the cookie-cutter, “urban”, hip-hop-boy/girl-from-the-wrong-side-of-the-tracks-meets-ballet-boy/girl-from-the-right-side-of- the-tracks dance movies with which the Streetdance franchise is aligned. But Streetdance 2 3D comes from the UK, and its predecessor – you guessed it, Streetdance 3D – was one of the highest grossing British independent films of all time. This success surprised nobody more than the film’s directors and producers, who were thus keen to do a follow-up. Says the producer of both movies, James Richardson, “We knew if we did that, it would have to be better in every kind of way. In terms of the dance, the storyline, the romance and all the rest of it.” In fact, the makers of the second Streetdance film are so confident of its superiority to its prequel they have run with the promotional tagline “BIGGER. BOLDER. BETTER. BACK.”
I call BULLSHIT. Streetdance 3D was bad. Streetdance 2 3D is terrible.
The film’s synopsis is as follows: “To beat the world’s best dance crew, street dancer Ash (Falk Hentschel) with new friend Eddie (George Sampson) sets off to gather the greatest street dancers from around Europe, falling in love with beautiful salsa dancer Eva (Sofia Boutella) in Paris.”
Sounds alright, yes? Well it’s not. The plot is flimsier than something really flimsy, has more holes than something with lots of holes, and the acting is so incredibly awful the young, inexperienced cast might as well have been holding their scripts. There is no chemistry between the two leads, and when they do finally get it on it’s kind of like watching a piece of cardboard pash a slightly more interesting piece of cardboard (perhaps with some drawings or stickers on it). Plus the fake accents on those actors pretending to be French or otherwise “European” are so dreadful they make even Mickey Rooney’s racist Japanese brogue in Breakfast at Tiffany’s seem authentic. And don’t get me started on the total superfluity of the whole ‘3D’ palaver. I am not opposed to 3D movies, not at all, but in this case I feel like the money spent thrusting this film into another dimension would have been better spent on a new scriptwriter and some acting coaches.
I went in to the cinema with pretty low expectations, having seen the first film and knowing that this is the best way to approach dance movies/life in general. But even with the bar set lower than something really low, Streetdance 2 3D failed to clear it. Even the dancing, usually the saving grace for my tortured eyes no matter how banal or horrid the film, was sometimes sub-par. A showcase and subsequent fusion of Latin and street styles, performed by some clearly exceptional dancers from both genres, this should have been the saving grace of the film, the element that made me forget all the plot holes and bad accents and cardboard kisses. And there were definitely moments of breathtaking brilliance, but oftentimes it just seemed forced and unoriginal, like even the choreographers had given up.
I wish I had better news for you about Streetdance 2 3D, I really do. But as much as I believe it is my mission to spread the word of the holy dance film to the masses, I can’t in good faith recommend this movie. Now if anybody needs me I’ll be watching Flashdance and dancing around my living room like a boss/idiot.